5 reasons why feminism is bad

(a satirical look into why the women's rights movement has been detrimental to our society)

So I have been wondering about why there are so many people in the world who say that women should not have rights. I have been trying to understand why oh why this could possibly be thought to be the case. Over the course of my mental meanderings, I made some realisations, and came to the conclusion that yes, feminism is of course a plague in our society, a veritable scourge that has brought suffering to those around us. Here are the top five reasons. 

1. Leggings (and short shorts really). Yes. With the growth in women's liberation came women shunning their traditional 'COVER YOURSELF YOU LOOSE WOMAN, I CAN SEE ANKLE' ideas, and donning pants. And the pants got tighter. and shorter. and tighter. and shorter. Until the age of the 'leggings as pants'. No. Society at large has spoken, and there is only a teeny tiny percent of people in the world who can actually pull off the pants as leggings look. I am going to say one word and one word only 'jiggle'. I think that this explains my point. To a lesser extent, this is also the case with short shorts. I think the best way to illustrate my point is the comment made to me by a friend today: 'I think there should be a limit at what size short shorts are made to.'

2. Bimbos. Accompanying the movements for women to be heard, is the women who are heard. Oh dear. Some people should really just not speak. Now, I am not sure about who the 'real' Paris Hilton is, or what she actually does...- in searching for the following quote I read claims that she actually works quite hard doing...whatever she does - but. Let us examine Paris Hilton. Did she change her name to 'Perez'? Someone whose image is that of a blonde twit. I came across this quote which I think proves my point perfectly: 'I first wanted to be a veterinarian. And then I realised you had to give them shots to put them to sleep, so I decided I'd just buy a bunch of animals and have them in my house instead.' ...dunno how to tell her this, but what about when her animals get old and sick and die? 

3. Women appearing onstage. Yeah, in the time of Shakespeare, all the parts were played by men. Saucy man-on-man action was had. Now, women are everywere. I want to see some socially acceptable same-sex love going on in a performance forum damnit!!

4. Gimps. Yes you heard me. Ever since pulp fiction, gimps have been a popular part of pop culture. But more importantly, they exist within a subcultre of society. Why? Well obviously because with the empowerment of women, has come the emasculation of men. How has this manifested? Gimps, clearly. The need to be dominated by a man, and the need for a male to regain his cojones by utterly dominating someone, because the women are the ones in power, it obviously isn't going to be them. Enough said. 

5. Sandwiches. How many times have I been told 'women make me a sandwich'? Quite a few. And I have a problem with this. Because frankly, sandwiches aren't that great. I mean sure, you can have some really decent sandwiches, but what's the fuss. Clearly, this has impacted our society by narrowing our cultural focus. How many times have you heard someone say 'woman! make me a medium rare steak in a creamy mushroom sauce with a side garden salad - perhaps with some croutons'? Exactly. 

The very fabric of our society is clearly under threat. Be aware.