Confrontation

I think most of us are scared of confrontation in one form of another.
There is the confrontation of fears (eg spiders), and confrontation of other people. To me, these are the main types of confrontation that we are humans face, and are terrified of.


With phobias and (relatively) inanimate things, or rather, concepts, it is easy to understand this desire to avoid confrontation. Spiders was the example I used earlier, so let me continue with that. Spiders are creepy, let's just face it. They scuttle along with their ridiculous number of legs, close to the ground with their hairy bodies, and there are many which are poisonous. Say there is an ugly black spider in your house, leering at you from the walls. Would you want to touch it? I think not. This is why, dear readers, when a spider (or even a creepy-ass cockroach) scoots along into my line of view, I hop as far away from it as possible, calling for whoever is in the house with me (usually my Mum) to come kill it. True story. If there is nobody in the house, I will leave. And when I return, I like to pretend that it left my house.
Perhaps a slightly more substantial example is the fear of failure. Many people (and I do realise I am generalising) will not attempt something if they think they will not be able to achieve it. I was in this position. All of my life, I have been well, rather bad at drawing. I had accepted this and moved on. For this reason, I shied away from the elective of art at school, as I knew that I simply could not achieve the outcome that I wanted.  However, two years ago, when the time came for me to choose my subjects for year 11, due to a number of factors, I ended up choosing art as one of my subjects. And it has become my favourite subject. Dare I even suggest it, I'm quite good at it.
Had I never tried it, I never would have found something I love so much.


But confronting people is a far more difficult task. People are less predictable, and there are entire social circles to be factored in when confronting a person, or the actions of a person.
I have mentioned it twice so far, this accusation leveled at me indirectly through the medium of...Facebook. After the apology that was offered (and accepted), which I wrote (what I hope was a touching and moving) blog about, I thought it was the end of it. However now, something else came up, and while names have not been mentioned, the veil is thin, if not non-existent. The phrase 'being used' was again, bandied around. I do not view this as confrontation. Rather, I think it is a way to side-step the issue of confrontation. I would have appreciated it far more, and found it a much better display of character on the part of this person, had they come straight out to me and said 'I feel like you used me'. But alas, no.
Readers, the point which I am making here is very simple. Sitting and feeling angry or upset at someone for something they did is all good and well, but confronting the issue, going up to them and actually saying 'this is why I am upset' is so much more brave, and so much more productive. I think this is why general 'bitching' exists, because people, rather than confronting a person about something which frustrates them, instead go to others to let this opinion be heard. Granted, it is the easy option, but in the long run, I don't think anybody really respects people who bitch.


Not only that, but life does not reward people who simply sit and feel. There are only ever results if you actively go out and do something. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
And wouldn't you rather try and fail at something than never have tried? Don't tell me that yes, you would rather simply have. I won't hear it.