We all have expectations, and, let's face it, most of the time we don't live up to the expectations we so often have.
Right now, there are two sorts of expectations, those that we find in the world around us, those we see in people, and those that we see in ourselves. Whoops, that's three.
The expectation we see in the world around us is, from what I understand, when we expect things to go our way.
With ourselves, the best example that I can think of is in relation to academia. You might expect yourself to get straight As with all your subjects ( although conversely, one might have very low expectations, and expect to fail everything).
Yet it is with other people that I thin we have the highest rate of failure in terms of them meeting our expectations.
Often, when we look at others, after labeling them (which, let's admit it, we all do), after deciding how we shall categorise them, we then accordingly place expectations on them. Which more often then not, they do not necessarily live up to. It is on this that I would like to talk a little.
I think this is partially the reason why the majority of relationships do not work out.
I have often reflected that when you first get to know somebody, they are a perfect person, because of the potential that they have. You do not yet know them, and therefore they are full of potential to be everything you think they could, or rather, should, be.
Particularly in a romantic relationship, everything goes downhill from there. Every fault is revealed, every character flaw is slowly exposed. I have found that what once seemed compatible, turns out not to be.
And the reason is, because I expected this person to be a number of things. And they are not.
Similarly, people fall into the trap of constructing an 'ideal' partner. The problem with this, is that it simply leads to one carrying a mental checklist. When somebody does not match up to this checklist of 'requirements', they cannot meet the requirement.
I think the point that I'm trying to make, is that we call go around with the expectations of how other people will act, how the world should be, and in the end, these expectations are more often than not, unmet. Sometimes, they are though. And I find it is with friends. It is my friend's (not the one who suggested the topic) 18th birthday today. I think there is no better way to explain how she has so exceeded any possible expectation that I could have had for her as a person, and as a friend than what I said to her just now: 'I'd move oceans for you'. The thing is, it's true.
This brings to mind a wonderful saying (I'm starting to think I have a thing for sayings and quotes). While the word is 'plan' instead of 'expect', I think that it has effectively the same meaning in this situation:
Sometimes things don't turn out the way you plan...they turn out better.
Ultimately, the scope of your expectations can only factor in so much. Yes, 99.9999999% of relationships will not work out, and I believe that underlying that is because expectations simply could not be met, but then things do work out, and beyond your wildest dreams. If someone would have told me, one year ago, who I would now unthinkingly nominate as the three people in the world who I hold in the highest esteem, I would have told them that they were being ridiculous. But knowing them, they are, in my eyes, beyond anything that I could possibly ever hope for in people, and friends. And all three of them have been mentioned in my blog (clearly the highest form of recognition, and everybody's life goal).
I will leave with only one final comment. Sometimes, not expecting anything can create the most amazing results.
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